Because I read Stevie Smith's "Pretty"

Boys and girls, I got tired of orange. It's time for a new look, but not necessarily a new me.
Grad 2009 took place last weekend and it's my job to speak up for the underdog.
Not everyone spends $500+ on their dress/suit, makeup and hair. Sometimes they just want to look nice, not traditional.
Not everyone spends $5000+ on university right after high school. Sometimes they just want to be sure, not frivolous.
Not everyone can feel like a princess on their celebration of the last night of highschool. Sometimes, all they wanted was to prove that they're an every day kind of beautiful.

That was my hope on June 13th. I was beginning to realise just how different I was from everyone else. I"m not going to school next year, I don't believe that everyone has the option of doing what they love, and I didn't look like everyone else when I stepped into the dim sparkling lights of the hall.

The night before grad, I came home in the evening and found an album on facebook of a few classmates in their caps and gowns. How nice everyone looked.... Then, I found an album of my closer friends, the ones who I spend lunch hours with, who I have sleepovers with... all in their caps and gowns. The pictures were taken that day. No one ever invited me.

The next morning, those same friends pracitced to sing O Canada at the ceremony. I can't tell you how annoyed I was that we had 2 songs to sound check and yet, we kept at that one. It's a lovely thing to be asked "aren't you doing this too?" and have them realise just after that "no, I'm not."

I wore a blue dress that night. It was knee-length and it cost me $15, originally $100. It was in perfect condition. The only problem, should one really have cared, was that it wasn't really a "prom" dress. Luckily, I didn't. So I was there amongst all these princesses, in a pair shoes that I borrowed from my mom, hair and makeup done at home by myself and my cheap little tiara. It felt awful. Everything did. I have never been so ashamed of being myself. And normally, I'm the kind of person who blossoms on their own. I felt so .. subsequent to everyone else there, regardless of all my accomplishments and every award I had received that morning walking across the stage. My boyfriend was really sweet about telling me how nice I looked. He's good about that sort of thing, but this time I knew it wasn't true at all. I just smiled for the pictures. It's okay, that night's done. I don't have to compete with highschool girls anymore. I'll go back to school when I'm older and I have more money in my bank account. For now, I wear a ring on my right hand, nothing but Chapstick on my lips.